I know I promised to keep updating at least once a week, but in light of recent events that have taken place not only around me but within me, I decided I would wait till mentally, and spiritually I was prepared and had something in me to express.
A few things I would like to clarify with my readers:
I am asked quite frequently why my posts are so long, the reason being, because unlike a lot of other blogs that are like short diary entries for a day or two, mine will usually cover a week's events, also my writing style I will admit can be a little bit prose and poetic. For those of you who know me well I am someone who likes to express myself in a creative way, and this takes time and space, so I am sorry if my posts seem long winded, but that is simply me.
Secondly, I am also asked a lot, to post pictures on my blog, which I have decided I will do. I am an individual who appreciates imagery created with words, but I also understand that for some of my readers, especially the English as a second language readers, may find the visual imagery a little hard to comprehend simply by reading, especially after already having been put through its translation, so to the pictures I say yes, but because I'm still passionate about doing most of the work with words I'm keeping the visuals to a filtered minimum.
However.
The time has come, to confront Sasha Fierce, the term coined by my favourite singer Beyonce. Sasha Fierce has become just as much of a house hold utterance as the singer who invented it.
We all have it within us, we may not call it "Sasha" like Beyonce and her legions of fans and you may not even be aware of its existence, but if you're a performer of any sort, you probably understand this a little clearer.
In past posts I have written about times when I have "flipped the coin" the idea being that I am on one side, and my "fierce" side is on the other.
But these past few weeks have shown me, that it's time I put the "coin" away.
Meet Tyson.
This is the boy you are very unlikely to meet if you're not that close of a friend. He prefers to hide away in a world of books and music, he'd rather be a follower than a leader. He hates the thought of people looking at him, and he's the type of boy who looks in the mirror and sighs, resigning himself to the reality that conventionally, he's an ugly duckling.
He cries when things get too hard, he treats hugs like a "cure-all" and is acutely insecure.
Yet the one good thing to come out of Tyson's insecure nature is the creation of another personality, someone to take over. And it all happens with a flip of a coin.
I remember the day I decided I wasn't going to be a no one, I got sick of what I saw in the mirror, it started with a hatred for the person staring back, a hatred so great that I either wanted to kill myself , or be someone else ...... the idea was like a candle that suddenly caught alight and burned white hot in my mind.
I would take a little piece of this character and that character. I swore I'd give myself no reason to hate myself anymore because if anyone would hate me from now on, it would be because I cut them with razor sharp words, because I was the first to strike a hurtful blow.
Meet Fierce (Sasha)
He isn't really a person, more like an enigma. Something that never just walks, but strides. Un-knowable, un-touchable. He's the one you might see in photo galleries or on stage, he's like a moth, attracted to the spotlight, attention seeking and self centred.
The time has come for me to put him away, he doesn't belong in my life. My confidence, and my sense of security come from the holy spirit, it comes from God. The ability to walk with my head held high should come , not from some other personality that I create, but because I am a son of God, who gave of himself so I could be an amazing person with in his love.
A young girl from Jesus Life House recently messaged me on facebook about my last post "When You Gave Me Up, You Gave, Everything To Me" this is a little bit of what she wrote;
"Hey Tyson! I just read your blog about your moms. And just wanted to let you know that it was an absolute blessing to me. You are an AMAZING writer, and your life and heart has God's handprints all over it. I had to hold back tears, not because I felt sorry for you, not merely just because I was happy for you, but because I can see God and His love right through you! Praise God for how he has orchestrated your life "
After reading this I felt tremendously blessed, I also felt so honoured, I have had compliments on my blog before but none such as this, and I've never been told that it was a blessing to anyone. I think the highest compliment that you could ever give anyone is to say that something they have created or produced or have said is a blessing to anyone.
It was then that I realised, I could only be a blessing to God if I was myself, not someone fake that I had created, someone that God had not created me to be in the first place.
So the time has come to say Goodbye to that other side of me, and remain solely the person God has always intended me to be.
Now please don't take this the wrong way, in no way am I changing my personality, and in no way will you really be able to tell that anything has changed, if anything the old me will only begin to be more enhanced, after all, it is not out of the imagination or dreams of one's own mind that one grows, it is out of the grace of God that a vision comes to fruition and is maintained.
Now for some of my non-Christian readers I understand where you may conflict with this belief, but if you are a follower of this blog and you've liked this blog so far I'm sure you can bear with us just a little.
I can't really offer any scientific proof to support my beliefs or the statement I've just made, and although I am a Christian I won't pretend that I can even give you any theological proof either.
The only proof I can give you is my testimony, the writings you see here of how God has provided for me are my proof that I offer you on a silver platter. My old youth pastor at my church in Australia always stressed that arguing someone into being a Christian is never the way, because if they can be argued into Christianity, they can also be argued out of it.
If you are a person who likes their theology and you feel that that is how the people around you will respond to Christ then that is great! And I encourage you to go for it, after all different people react in different ways to different things. I know that with my friends a story told from the heart with honesty is the best option.
So basically, goodbye Sasha.
But on a much lighter note I thought I would do a little bit of introducing, following are my old friends from Australia who I miss dearly, and my new friends from Tokyo who I am loving spending time with.
First things first.
My Australians.
This is Maia, my sister.
I love and miss her so much, she really was my other half and around school we were always referred to as 'Maia and Tyson' one always came with the other. Maia is a talented artist, actress and pianist and has also demonstrated talents as a singer and music producer. She is currently studying art at uni and next year is hoping to start studying acting. We both have a hugely shared passion for foreign films mostly from Spain or Mexico and our favourite Spanish actor is Gael Garcia Bernal who starred in "The Motor Cycle Diaries". Some of Maia's artwork can be seen on her facebook so if you're a friend you really should check it out. I also wrote about Maia in one of my previous posts.
This is Emmett my brother.
In our lives together we have shared so much, you might mistake him for a bit of a laid back man of simple tastes but he is secretly a deep thinker. Sometimes he says the most amazingly wise things and honestly I'm not that surprised, "it's always the quiet ones" as the saying goes.
He loves his music and is both an extremely talented pianist and singer, so much so I let him take directorial responsibility over my final music examination performances for high school. He really is a budding musical genius and not much else comes close to performing with him , we have different voices, but we blend so nicely. I really miss him.
This is Chan, one of my best friends.
What can I say about Chantal? It's so strange not seeing her every day, it was one of the small blessings life offered each day. Chantal is an amazing dancer and although there are other young people on the coast who receive so much praise for their abilities as dancers none I don't think come close, no one else in my life shared as much of a passion for hip hop with me as Chan, and I miss being her dance floor partner.
Our old motto used to be "if you can't see a dance floor, start one" and boy did we start some dance floors in our time. But on the other side of this amazingly fun and funny person was an inspiring youth leader who could speak the most powerful words. I've had the pleasure of listening to Chan preach and she has such a beautiful heart for the young girls of today. You know how when you see adverts for conferences and they show cool pictures or videos of the featured people who will be preaching, well I KNOW that will be her one day and soon.
This is Kim also known as KimmySHIMMY.
Kim is the person I think of as my night time friend, it could be going on for midnight and I would get a call from Kim and a car full of other people asking me if I felt like a McDonalds run. I really do dearly miss her, and this young woman holds a special place in my heart, I love seeing her grow and adapt, she has such a sweet and generous heart. Even now a world away we talk every day on msn or facebook. Her honesty inspires me and her simple way of putting things really goes straight to your heart, she is a walking mixture of soft heartedness and spiritual solidness. She knows that she is human and never denies making mistakes, instead she takes delight in demonstrating to others that no matter what knocks you take in the ring, hang onto the side rope, wipe the sweat from your brow, get up and keep on going.
This is Te Aaka (Rhiannon is her English name) and Kimmy Red.
I have to introduce these two together because that is what life was like back home with our family, we were always together. As you may have read in previous posts we called ourselves Destiny's Child because we fit the mould of our favourite singing trio so perfectly and we all sing and dance.
I love these girls so much and they are a part of what I call "my home" They were more like sisters than cousins, and I miss them incredibly.
This is Mia.
I met this girl in music class, and from that, I was invited too and planted in the wonderful church C3 Kingscliff. Mia was my first Christian friend and over these last three years we have shared so much together in both the good and bad. Now she is one amazing singer, definitely one of the best on the coast I would say, off the stage she was a cute softly spoken well humoured girl but on stage she remains to this day one of the most amazing worship leaders I have ever seen . I love singing with her, and she always made life fun. She was definitely the princess of the group, but this princess has had to deal with some amazingly hard challenges in her life, and she has done that with the dignity and grace not of a princess but of a Queen. Mia is currently studying worship leading and vocals in C3's creative ministries college.
This is Lukeyy.
My best mate, he is one of the most stylish, fun awesome people you will meet. He's a budding graphic designer and a worship leader for his youth at "Generation Church" south campus. I loved that he would listen to me and be interested in what I had to say, I would often find myself calmed by his words of wisdom and at other times laughing hysterically over his priceless sense of humour.
He would often say how awesome he thought I was for the things that I've dealt with in my life, but I often wish that I had told him how much of an inspiration he was to me, I miss him so much, and I am so glad that God saw fit to bless me with Luke's friend ship.
Now for my wonderful Tokyo friends!
This is Arisa, who usually goes by her middle name Becky.
Beck was one of my first friends I ever made at Jesus Life House, and she is so much fun, as you can see she is one beautiful young woman who I am sure has broken a few hearts in her time, but on the inside she is just as beautiful. She showed me so much patience and kindness when I first arrived and welcomed me into the folds instantly. I am so blessed to have her as a friend and she is such a breath of fresh air in any situation. She makes a fierce Christian and I love her open and honest heart, she's dishes out compliments so easily and never hesitates to tell you that you look great, even if you do look like rubbish as I have on my not so wonderful hair days.
This is Jared and his wife Gabe.
Jared and Gabe are one awesome couple, they are both so kind and friendly and are a great example of a strong Christian couple. Jared is also my life group leader and it's great to be under his leadership, he's challenged me so much since I ' ve been here and I really do feel like he helping me grow in God and as a Christian. On my first day at Jesus Life House Jared immediately invited me to life group and since then has been my leader and it's been one great, exhausting, challenging, up-lifting time.
This is Michelle.
I work with Michelle at Kasukabe Play group and we have so much fun together. She is such a great person to work with and so great with the children. She has such a sweet and bubbly demeanour and she makes every day at work a blast! As sweet as she may be she also runs class with an iron fist, all fun aside, Michelle is an awesome teacher who in six months already has two and three year olds speaking limited beginner English! She is such a testament to God's grace and dependability , every day she shows just how, through God, all challenges can be met.
This is Angel.
Angel is such a sweet heart and has one amazing sense of humour. She makes every situation something to smile about and is such a positive person all round. You know how as soon as the sun comes out from behind a cloud it warms the skin, that is exactly what it's like when Angel walks into a circle of people, she immediately brightens the atmosphere and has one heck of an infectious laugh. She is also a generous and giving person, she was actually the person who got me in contact with Michelle at Play Group. Her name speaks her heart, she is someone who enjoys blessing people. Simple as that.
This is Anna.
Definitely my best girl here in Japan, she really does have the ability to make me settle down when I'm upset or annoyed at something. She's so funny and so much fun to be around, and also someone who I can just simply talk things out with. Coffee, Beyonce and family are our favourite conversation topics, she's one of the people I refer to as a coffee person, as in someone who is great to just sit back, chat and drink coffee with. Again I am blessed immensely with her friendship and she just brings so much joy and happiness to the table whenever she is around. If I could think of three words to sum up Anna, it would be modest, caring and Godly.
This is Tomoyuki
Although he is smaller than me and looks so young, he is actually in his twenties and is just like an older brother to me. He is a kind and gentle soul and one amazing artist, his drawings are on his facebook so go check them out , he really knows how to glorify God with pencil and paper. He is one of those people who is the epitome of a servants heart, without being asked he'll dig in and help with pack down and set up at church simply because he loves to help. He's one of those people you can't help but just appreciate and be grateful for their friendship.
This is Satoru.
He thinks he's funny, when he really isn't. Ha Ha just joking. My best friend here in Japan, and he's awesome to be around. I'm so amazingly blessed to have Satoru as my mate, he's one of the kindest and most helpful people I have met since I've been here. He has a passion to be in the military which I greatly admire him for, and on top of that he is just one of the most hilariously funny people I have ever met! He is also one of the kindest people ever, when I stayed at his house the other night before we went to Disney Sea I saw how respectfully and kind heartedly he treated his family, your mum has something incredible to be proud of Satoru, she has an amazing son in you!
This is Catherine. AN AUSSIE!
Catherine is a huge inspiration to me, she came here as a diplomat and had an amazing job, apartment and salary. But after her term as diplomat was over instead of returning to Australia where she could live quite comfortably God told her to stay in Japan .
Life was not easy going from a government job to the salary of an English teacher, but she herself stated that she's "never been happier" in her life. That is a true testimony right there and one that really has inspired me to stay on in Japan when things get tough. Catherine is one ball of fun and laughter, the life of the party one could say, she rocks out on the train to SClub7, knows the music of each station on the Yamanote line by heart and her apartment is more Japanese than the emperors. Living in a nation where demure is chic and cute and shy is considered "sexy" has not dampened her fiery sense of humour or "out there" demeanour. It's amazing to watch her interact with other people, she is truly herself, the way God intended.
Catherine has also just started writing her own blog: It's still in the initial stages but is bound to be mind blazingly powerful. Please support and follow at:
http://destynationjapan.blogspot.com/
And there you have it, my Kingscliff friends, meet my Tokyo friends. Put together we could have one shin-dig of a party!
But all emotional and sentimental things aside, some updates for everyone.
I recently moved into my own apartment and as empty as it is now, it's home. It's typically modern day Japanese being one room and not much else but over time I plan to furnish and decorate it and make it essentially "me".
For now my plan is with each pay cheque I am allowed to treat myself to one household item. I already have brought necessities like a fridge, rice cooker, clothes line and other little odd and ends but for now I am content.
Photo's coming soon, but don't hold your breath, it's nothing special, I still love it.
I also went to Disney Sea last weekend with an awesome group of JLH people. We spent fifteen hours in there and every single moment was a blast! Of course we were all so sore and tired (not to mention wet and cold) at the end of the day but I would do it all again in a second. Also as I'm sure you all know it's Halloween season, and one of the good things about that is the amazing displays they put on at Disney Sea, as well as the kawaii (cute) merchandise you can buy like the funky orange masquerade mask I purchased that you should keep an eye out for in the pictures below.
Thanks to the amazing photographer Ayu, here are some great pictures from that day.
I also have been writing again! I have been expanding and re-writing a short story I wrote about two months ago called "Breaking the Alabaster Box" which is a fictional re-creation of the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with perfume at the last supper. I have had fun researching the history and delving deep into the biblical truth of this moment, and when the product is finished I'd be more than happy to share it with you, I am also thinking about looking at getting it published so who knows where that might take me!
Adventurous times ahead for sure, if you would like to take a read of the original document that I am now expanding on, it's on facebook in "my notes" under the title "Breaking the Alabaster Box" but for those of you who don ' t have facebook I have posted it on my other blog "Sparrow" you can read it at;
ttp: / / tysongsparrow.blogspot.com /
For now, it's been nice sharing with you. God Bless and keep you all.
To Be Continued ......
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